My First — and Only — Visit to a Nudist Beach

 

Or “the day I lost the opportunity of my life.”

Years ago, I found out that a friend of mine from drama school had moved to Florianópolis, one of Brazil's most beautiful beach towns. I had a few miles about to expire, so I arranged with him to spend a week there. As he had a job, he couldn’t stay with me all the time… So I went out exploring the island where the city is.

One day, I went to a beach called “Praia do Mole,” recommended by my friend. I vividly remember the experience: I took the bus, the day was absurdly hot. I strolled along the beach, enjoyed the scenery, saw a lot of beautiful people. I stopped at a pub that played versions of New Order songs sung by a woman. I had a coke enjoying the music (to this day, I haven’t been able to find out who was singing them, if anyone knows, let me know in the comments). Finally, I continued the walk towards the north, where rocks were delimiting the beach’s end.

I got there, went to the rocks, felt a little sea air hitting my body… And when I decided to go back, I saw a sign at the entrance to the small trail that connected that beach with the next one, “Praia da Galheta.” The sign reads NUDISM BEACH and a sequence of rules explaining how to behave if you want to get in there. Nothing very different from “be polite and respect the different. If you come dressed, the weirdo will be you!”.

I didn’t get too excited about the idea of ​​taking off my shorts. I didn’t know what to expect when crossing that border. But I got excited about the “transgressing” idea to see what happens after that sign. After several seconds of waiting and watching the movement of people entering and leaving — all dressed — I joined the beach.

What the fuck?

Where is everybody?

Where are the hustlers?

The beach was deserted. There were one or two people around, but they were the ones who had entered right before me, and they were all dressed. There were six of them, at most.

However, at the far end of the beach, I saw a group of four or five people who seemed to be undressed. “You know what? I’m going over there!” I thought.

And there I went.

On the way, I started to understand the dynamics of the place. I saw some boys very far from the sea, at the opposite end of the sand. They were naked. And they didn’t seem to be bothered by this. I thought, “Mmmmm… Maybe this is the only opportunity in my life when I can get naked in public… Do I take advantage of it?” As I’m not one to give up when a challenge arises, I stopped.

I put my hands on my shorts’ button.

I unbuttoned it.

I started to undo the shorts from my waist…

Until I went back to looking at the guys who were on the rocks… They seemed to have been excited about their conversation, and now they ran after each other.

Thinking that my gesture could be interpreted as an invitation to join their game… I decided to let the opportunity pass. Another time, perhaps?

I buttoned up my shorts and kept walking. I went to the end of the beach, where the four naked people were. It was a family with a single woman who was much older than me. I didn’t get excited about staying there.

So I went back.

Looking at the ground, I came across a crab with only two legs on the way back. I even took a photo, which I couldn’t find in my files… But, anyway, I stood there looking at the crab for a few minutes… Until I heard a voice: “A dog must have attacked it.” I turned around and came across a lady in her seventies, completely naked. I think I managed to hide my surprise, even because I didn’t see her on the beach, she must have been at sea or close to the rocks when I passed. But after a few milliseconds, I returned to “cruise mode,” and we talked. As lonely ladies usually do, she chattered a lot, and we stayed there for about fifteen minutes talking about crabs, how much dogs liked their paws, and how beautiful the place was. Finally, the lady said goodbye and went towards the stones.

At the end of the day, I felt like a coward… A fool, like most dressed people at that beach. As much as there were people taking advantage of so much freedom to let their sexual instincts out, there were people there who just wanted the sensation of feeling the sun on their entire body.

I think I missed the opportunity of my life.

WRITTEN BY 

Juliano Righetto